Why Growth Past Fear Doesn’t Come with Comfort


A woman with short blonde hair is hiking up a hill. She is wearing all white clothes, with a jacket draped over her shoulders. It is dusk and the golden hour light of the sun is hitting her. Behind her there is a massive red-tinted cloud with the blue sky peeking behind it.

A Series On Uncovering How Fear Manifests In Your Life – #2. Read our first installment here, and read our latest one here.

Fear is a powerful tool that is most often known for blocking us from doing the things we desire. Yet, we are discovering through stories of incredible Latines that fear can also be used as fuel, supporting them in achieving everything they’ve dreamed of.

We all have different ways in which fear manifests itself, preventing us from reaching our greatest potential. Fear takes form in the ways you allow, and in this series, we’re uncovering stories from our community, exploring the various ways fear has manifested in their lives and how they’re pushing past fear and moving forward.

Every month, we’ll pose the question, “What Has It Cost You When You’ve Let Fear Win?” and get a glimpse into how this 4-letter word can have a great impact (both good and bad) on their lives. We hope that through this series, you find solace in knowing that fear is an emotion we merely give too much power to and remove the barriers that are holding you back from being that b*tch.

What Has It Cost You When You’ve Let Fear Win?

Showing Up Authentically

As a creative person, I can see how fear has stopped me from showing up authentically and unapologetically at times. I trust in the beauty of my capabilities, but there have been instances where fear has taken over, hindering me from showing my true colors, and with that, it has cost me opportunities, relationships, validation, growth, and certain fulfillment. With time, you mature and realize there’s nothing much more liberating than living without limitations and that letting fear win will only bring regrets. Be yourself, build room for your dreams, give space to your voice, and don’t allow fear to take away your joy. 

Melissa Bailey, (She/Her) VP of Marketing, #WeAllGrow Latina

The Love I Should Have Given Myself

At first glance, fear doesn’t cost much. We associate fear with keeping us safe. If we let it win, we may not be seeing the full scope of what it’s keeping us from gaining. 

But fear is much costlier than we think. 

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s actually fear. And when I’ve let fear win, it cost me the love I should have given myself. Fear has kept me from stepping into my fullness and making me believe that the smaller, more “likable,” more “digestible” version of myself was safer. I was wrong. And so, out of fear, I have stunted my own growth, stayed in situations that caused more harm than good, and missed out on opportunities to thrive as the woman I was created to be. 

Out of fear, I stayed in relationships that felt familiar but weren’t fulfilling for me.

Out of fear, I stayed loyal to a job where I was gaslit and underpaid.

Out of fear, I stayed quiet about my boundaries and allowed myself to be a doormat. 

Fear has cost me rest, money, boundaries, aligned relationships, and meaningful experiences – all things that I deserve and represent self-love. So when I let fear win, I recognize that I withhold love for myself. The more I lean into the vibration of love, the more my fears shrink. 

Fear is natural, and its voice will always be there. But I am determined to drown out the sound of my fear with an overflow of love for myself and the desire to be all I am through my bold decisions to show up and take up space anyway. 

When I love myself, I free myself. 

Aila Castane, (She/Her) Amigas Community Manager, #WeAllGrow Latina

Reaching My Highest Potential

I used to let fear stop me from reaching my highest potential. As someone who has always dreamt big, I realized that those dreams were remaining dreams, and the only thing stopping me was myself. I had allowed fear of the unknown and fear of failing to stop me from reaching my highest potential. As I continued to self-reflect, I realized that if I wanted to grow and become the person I had always wanted to be, I had to let the fear go. I adopted the mantra, “I would rather try than never have tried at all.” Not allowing fear to majorly influence my biggest life decisions has been the best decision I have ever made for myself. My biggest takeaway in life is if it scares you, then do it! That is when you grow and transform the most. No one grows living in comfort.

Lidia Vences, (She/Her), Marketing Intern, #WeAllGrow Latina

Amiga, take the next step, even if it’s scary. Our auto-response is often driven by our subconscious, which wants to protect us, and that is when you need to train the algorithm of your thoughts to push past the fear because that feeling in your heart is there for a reason. We have also found that voicing your fears out loud helps you recognize that you can achieve both what you desire and even the unimaginable. You got this, and we’re cheering you on every step you take!

Want to share your experience with fear? Submit your story here.

Want to voice your fears out loud for some moral support? Continue the conversation on Amigas, where other Latines like you are waiting to support you with open arms, and read how other amigas have pushed past fear here.

About the Author

Vanessa Santos Fein

Vanessa Santos is a product, branding, and strategy executive who has delivered award-winning digital solutions to startup and Fortune 500 companies. As the Co-CEO & Partner of #WeAllGrow Latina, she is passionate about speaking on gender equality and guiding women to build socio and economic power. Connect with Vanessa on Instagram @vanessasantosfein. You can read more of her pieces here.




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